even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
