Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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