So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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