told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
