I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
