Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
