Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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