He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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