so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
