then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
