i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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