a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
