Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
