I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
