just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
