so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
