giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
