McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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