the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
