ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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