you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
