so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
