i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
