I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
