I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
