Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
