wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
