Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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