you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
