And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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