yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
