im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
