saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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