I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
