return my video game
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
