Your face is a jimmy john
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
