Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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