S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
