You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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