yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
