How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
