Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I will die if light touches me.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize