my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
