Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
