I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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