your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
