Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
