Will you blow on my dice?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
