Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
