But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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